Hey fans and friends. For those of you who don’t know, we discuss things with spoilers here. So there will be a break to avoid spoiling anything for you. If you don’t want to know details, leave now and enjoy everything else on the site.
Last chance!
From the front page, “This is all about the plots and zero about stupid things like plot”. Ugh. The first issue was crap, and a disappointment of a read. The second issue however had two great scenes, one with Captain America and one with Spider-Man. Which was will this one go?
Thing vs. Colossus.
Red Hulk and Colossus start out fighting, then Rulk trades off to the Thing. That was a little odd. Why not just start with the Thing? The battle is narrated by Colossus, with Thing’s thoughts not once entering the page. Which probably means Colossus will win. Its a bit heavy handed. By defeating a monster Colossus wonders if he himself has become a monster. Because the Juggernaut powers weren’t enough. Nor being one of Magneto’s Acolytes. No, its during this battle in which the X-Men are trying to kill other heroes that Colossus suddenly gets all introspective. What is going on inside of him?
Well, the dramatic turn of the battle is when we see what isn’t happening inside of Colossus. He doesn’t have to breathe. But Thing does. The battle leads to outside of the blue area of the moon and Colossus takes Thing out easily now that Ben Grimm cant breathe. Good thing Colossus doesn’t have to breathe. Oh, you know, except for two pages earlier when he is choking! Thing throws a brick into Colossus’s mouth and Colossus chokes on it. Chokes. Which means he cant breathe. But then he doesn’t have to breathe. So what the fuck is the danger of him choking!
This book is already down one.
Black Widow vs. Magik.
Hey both women are Russian. Lets do something cool with that. They’ll speak in Russian to each other. Alright, you’ll translate all of that too right? No? I have to have a smart phone in order to get the translations? Listen up Marvel. If I wasn’t paying 4 dollars for 20 pages of story over and over again week after week hundreds of times every year then I would have plenty of money for a great smart phone and tons of data plan. But instead I’m buying your books. So how about you give me everything I need on the page I just spent 4 dollars for. In addition to the $4 I’m also spending on Avengers vs X-Men, Secret Avengers, Avengers, X-Men, Avenging X-Men, Mutant Avengers and whatever the fuck else I have to buy to get this full story.
Magik sends Black Widow to Limbo but Widow is smart and drags Magik with her. They have a fight and reveal nasty things about each other in Russian. Which we cant read. Unless you’ve spent hundreds of dollars on your phone and apps and data. An app that doesn’t work that easily either.
Also, demons can be killed with normal guns. Supernatural beings from another plane, but damn if they haven’t figured out a way to stop a bullet.
The two women come back from Limbo and end up back on the moon. One of the demons decided to unzip Black Widow’s costume. The moon must be pretty warm tonight. Need to air out the girls. Magik uses her soul sword on Black Widow. The sword that only sometimes works on non magical beings and only sometimes will knock them unconscious. Well, good thing this was one of those times!
Hey, just because you write on the first page that there wont be any plot here doesn’t mean I cant have some logic!
AVX VS is now 1-2.
